Why You DEFINITELY Shouldn’t Give up on a New Dog Within the First Three Weeks

Bringing home a new dog can be equally exciting and overwhelming. Your expectations may not match reality. Your new companion may act scared, stubborn, or destructive. You might even question your decision to adopt.

The truth is that the first three weeks (particularly the first few days) are the hardest. But giving up too soon could mean missing out on the dog of your dreams.

The 3-3-3 Rule: What To Expect

Many pet professionals use the 3-3-3 Rule to describe the adjustment process for a dog entering a new home. It consists of:

• 3 days to decompress

• 3 weeks to settle in

• 3 months to feel at home

Those first three weeks can be a very fragile time. Your dog is navigating a new space, unfamiliar people, and possibly recovering from past trauma.

It's important to remember that they're not being "bad" during this time. They're adjusting, just like you'd adjust if you moved to a new apartment with a new roommate in a new city.

Learn More: The 3-3-3- Rule

Why Dogs Struggle in the First Few Weeks

After dogs get through those first few days of decompression (which can be really tough for them and you), they may continue to struggle as they find their place in your home.

Again, if you moved to a new apartment in a city you had never been to before and you were living with people you barely knew, you’d probably struggle, too! You’ll likely get lost trying to find your way around town. You may even get stressed because you accidentally frustrate your roommate by not putting your dishes in the dishwasher fast enough.

Dogs struggle for similar reasons:

• They don’t know the rules: Dogs don’t come pre-programmed. They need guidance, consistency, and time to learn house rules.

• Stress and anxiety: New environments trigger stress. Many dogs will hide, bark, pace, have accidents, or even growl.

• Mismatched expectations: You may have envisioned a cuddly companion, but they may be fearful or aloof at first. Don’t hold that against them as they continue to settle in.

• Testing boundaries: Like any relationship, dogs may push limits as they figure out where they fit in. Staying consistent with rules and training can help you navigate this time.

It takes time to overcome these issues. This doesn’t mean a day or two. It means weeks (sometimes months).

Patience Builds Trust

Trust isn’t instant. It’s earned. By staying calm, consistent, and patient, you help your dog understand they’re safe and loved.

Over time, they’ll begin to relax, open up, and show their true personality.

The concept of trust needs to go both ways. You also need to learn that you can trust your dog, and setting consistent rules and boundaries can help foster that trust. This means you don't give your dog free rein of your home until you know they won't chew your couch or pee on the rug.

Tips for Surviving the First 3 Weeks

There are some key things you can do to help you and your new dog get through the first three weeks a little more easily:

1. Create a routine: Dogs feel secure when they know what to expect, so try to establish a routine they can rely on.

2. Set clear boundaries: Use crates, baby gates, or pens to manage space. Also, set boundaries regarding their use of your furniture or bed.

3. Go slow with introductions: Don’t overwhelm them with people, pets, or busy places. Those first few weeks should be calm and only involve introductions to those within your household (depending on how the new dog is acclimating, wait at least a few before trying to integrate a new dog with your current pets) and short adventures outside the house.

4. Use positive reinforcement: Reward calm behavior, gentle eye contact, and progress, no matter how small.

5. Limit affection at first: Focus more on structure than snuggles in the early days because dogs receive love differently than we do.

6. Be prepared for setbacks: Accidents, barking, or ignoring you is normal at first. Don’t get frustrated if your new dog is doing any of these things. It will pass with patience and training.

Grant yourself and your dog some grace during this time. You are both still learning and figuring it out. It’s not supposed to be completely smooth sailing starting day one!

Learn More: What To Do When Bringing Home a New Dog

Real Progress Takes Time

Keep in mind that the 3-3-3 Rule is just a general guideline. It is not a hard-and-fast rule.

Some dogs with more confident personalities warm up in days. Others who are more shy or fearful take weeks or even months. Just like people, dogs have different personalities, histories, and coping styles.

What feels like a bad fit might just be a dog who needs time to settle in and feel safe.

Learn More: Dog Decompression

Why Giving up Too Soon Is BAD

Returning a dog too quickly can reinforce abandonment issues and trauma, especially in rescue dogs. It can also prevent you from experiencing the transformation that comes when a dog learns to trust and love you back.

Speaking from experience and witnessing that transformation firsthand, it is SO worth the effort.

Instead of quitting, ask for support by:

• Talking to your vet or a trainer

• Contacting the rescue or shelter your dog came from for adjustment advice

• Joining online communities for guidance and encouragement

The good news is that most issues you encounter are workable with the right support and commitment.

Final Thoughts

The first few weeks in particular with a new dog can be tough, but don't get discouraged. What seems like a potentially never-ending struggle is typically just a few bumps in the road before an amazing life with your new dog.

With time, consistency, and patience, you'll have a loyal, loving pup who was worth the wait. Don't give up. Give it time. We'd be willing to bet you'll be glad you did.